Germish is a hybrid English/German dialect spoken in a private, 'Utiopian' style community, known as Germingland out side of the community, and Germanglia within, based deep in the Bavarian forests of Southern Germany. Adjectively, the residents term themselves Germanglians or Germish, though the term Germish is not exclusive to them (it's a common term synonymous with expressions such as Denglisch, Deutschish, Gerglish or Angleutsch, descibing the phenomenon of English words, grammar and idioms inflecting the German language). However, the major difference here is that Germanglian has an actual syntactical standard, both written and spoken. The language is richly inflected with both German and English grammar and vocabulary, and can be learned easily by both countrymen. Sounds that do not exist in either language, such as th in German, and the guttural r in English are not rendered, thus making it easier for a standard pronunciation.
The Germish society is a very peaceful one, with around 1000 residents. The internal economy is mainly reciprocal, with much of the community’s dairy, meat and vegetable produce produced on its farm, keeping its food profits within the community. Its economy is also helped from its sponsorship deals and tourist trade, in which thousands of yearly visitors are given tours of the community, get to meet the inhabitants, and hear from and meet the people who conceived and brought to fruition the whole idea. There is also a hotel and 4 guest houses in which guests can stay, and partake in the traditional Germish way of life. Tourism and sponshorship generates between €3-4 million annually, and the main sponsor is the Home Improvement giant Aeki, who pay the community for allowing them to use Germingland in their advertising of their flatpack homes. Most of the residential homes there are Koblok Flatpack Homes, produced by Aeki, which are extremely easy to construct and environmentally friendly.
So why was Germingland created and why come to live here?
Germingland, from the creation of the dialect to the design and building of the community, was created by 36 year old English billionaire, Wes Daley. Wes was the creator of the internet community portal Spooky Cafe© (similar to the likes of My space and Facebook, but with interactive virtual chat rooms), which he sold in 2002 for an estimated £2 billion. He also owned a European record company, Eveningstar Records, which he co-founded with his German business partner, Georg Abendstern. Wes had a 'private' circle on Spooky Cafe, and originally created the dialect for the use of this private online circle of friends. However, having become severly depressed and anxious about the violence and troubles of our modern 'big brother' style world, he wanted to find a way of escaping the rat race, but did not want to become a recluse. He sold Spooky Cafe and the record company, set about searching for people who shared the same anxieties and concerns, forming a plan with Georg to create his community of peace loving friends. Eventually, around 800 people from his private circle signed up for his project, each paying a deposit of £50,000. Not much more is known from this point, other than he managed to purchase around 20 acres of forest in Bavaria, and build the community.
What can one do here?
Obviously, Germingland does not and cannot offer the same entertainment facilities as a modern town or city. If this is what a person wants, then Germingland is not the place to come. However, there IS an entertainment and leisure complex at the heart of the community. Here, one will find:
- a 2 screen, 200 seat (per screen)cinema
- swimming pool, sauna and gym
- 5 restaurant/bars
- main community showroom (with musical and other entertainment on the community nights)
One must bear in mind that Germingland is essentially a village. This is split into 5 zones. The central zone is the entertainment and leisure area, the other 4 zones are the residential areas which surround the central zone. The leisure zone is completely encircled by 200 metres of forest which, at night, is beautifully light with low voltage ground lights.
One basically comes to Germingland to escape the stress and intrusion of our modern, 'big brother' style society. You won’t see any street cameras here; it’s simply not necessary. There is no fear of being attacked in the street, suffering abuse whilst out for a drink with family or friends, or your house being burgled or ransacked. There is an incredibly friendly atmosphere. It’s safe, non intrusive, and free will for personal opinion and the freedom to indulge in any religion is totally accepted. The Germish people are happy to help one another in any situation; in fact this is one of the oaths sworn by all. They give not to receive, as they know that the community will provide for them whenever necessary. And contrary to outside opinion, Germingland is NOT a cult. No one person within the community is 'worshiped' (although the heads of Germingland, Wes and Georg are highly revered), nor controls the day to day lives of the residents. They have normal everyday material things as we do: TV, satellite, modern, trendy clothes, mobile phones etc, and are also free to travel outside the community at anytime, to visit friends, family (although most families come here as a whole), and holiday. Of course, rules and regulations are evident, as with any community, and non adherence to these rules are duly noted and dealt with in accordance to Germish law. However, it is very rare that the Germish council has to reprimand anyone, since there is a genuine respect for each other and the community itself. This is of course, the pre-requisite for coming here in the first place!
Some rumours state that Wes and Georg bribed their way through various government channels, but this has always been dismissed as utter nonsense. Regardless of rumour, the community was finished in 2005, at an estimated personal cost of approx £250 million. He struck a lucrative sponsorship deal with Aeki, and built up over 200 of their Koblok flatpack homes and apartments. All other buildings, including the village medical centre, shops, entertainement complex, hotel and guest houses, bars and eateries are constructed from wood; the use of the trees that were felled in the process included in their construction. Tree felling was kept to a minimum, and all construction material was designed to be as eco-friendly as possible.
Residents began moving in around June 2006, and August saw an official, closed ceremony, performed in Germanglian. In the last year and a half, another 200 residents have been officially accepted into the community. All the houses there have now been filled, and there are currenlty no plans to expand.
Germish could be described metaphorically as: German and English shovelled into a cement mixer, poured out and set! It’s basically a blend of German and English grammar and vocabulary. Some simple sentences can sound almost entirely English, for example:
She kan runet. She can run.
Others can sound very German:
Es ist ouf di Tish. It’s on the table.
And others sound typically Germish:
She runet owf di Gras every Taag. She runs on the grass every day.
Quite simply, the blend is as follows:
Most nouns come from German
Most verbs come from English with German style conjugations
Adjectives, adverbs and modifiers come mainly from English
All other word classes are a hybrid mix.
Spelling conforms to a Germish standard
It was decided very early on that Germish would be analytic, that is to say, word order would determine sentence function. The German case and gender system was completely dissolved, and there is no agreement between noun and adjective. In respect of this however, word order would be based on German, the past participle prefix ge was kept for verbs and verbs would take on German style conjugations. Another linguistic feature that doesn’t exist in Germish is the heirachical address Sie as in German. This is because Germish society reflects an 'everyone is equal' attitude. Therefore, having a formal address system would go against the moral grain. Politness and respect can be denoted from voice intonation and facial expression.
SVO with verb 2nd position in main clause. Past participles and main verbs are sent to the end after modals and auxiliaries as in German. Subordinate clauses see the main verb sent to the end, followed by the auxiliary or modal. However, in a main clause that FOLLOWS a subordinate, that main clause retains its normal word order, unlike in German where the main verb would take 1st position. Eg:
(German) Er hatte Füßball gut gespielt.
(Germish) Hee hat Fütbaal güt gepläen.
He had played football well.
(German) Er wird Füßball spielen wenn sie ihn fragen.
(Germish) Hee vil Fütbaal pläet, if dä im asken.
He will play football if they ask him.
But reverse the subordinate clause:
(German) Wenn sie ihn fragen, wird er Füßball spielen.
(Germish) If dä im asken, den hee vil Fütbaal pläet.
If they ask him, then he’ll play football.
TMP (Time, manner, place)
This typically moulds itself on German:
Tüdä meete i mei Froind in di Staat. I’m meeting my friend today in town.
Germish verbs are mainly taken from English, but with German style conjugations:
Germish tenses and their English/German equivalents. Since all Germish main verbs are regular, the example used is pläen-to play:
present ich spiele/I play, am playing (also renders the present progressive, or in German, Verlaufsform)
pläen to play-infinitive
i pläe I play/am playing
dü pläest you play/are playing (singular)
hee pläet he plays/is playing
she pläet she plays
es pläet it plays
dä pläen they play
vir pläen we play
man pläet one plays (impersonal)
ir pläet you play (plural)
present perfect ich habe gespielt/I have played
This tense does not use the auxiliary hafen-to have. The past participle itself denotes perfectiveness, and equates to the German perfect past and the English perfect present.
i gepläen I have played
dü gepläen you have played
hee gepläen he has played
she gepläen she has played
es gepläen it has played
dä gepläen they have played
vir gepläen we have played
man gepläen one has played
ir gepläen you have played (plural)
This tense in Germish denotes completeness, whereas the simple past does not. For example, I drinkede Kafee I drank coffee does not necessarily mean that the coffee was finished.
simple past ich spielte/I played
Simple past tense adds d before conjugation, or inserts an extra e if following a conjunct:
i pläde I played
dü plädest you played
hee plädet he played
she plädet she played
es plädet it played
dä pläden they played
vir pläden we played
man plädet one played
ir plädet you played
perfect/pluperfect past ich hatte gespielt/I had played (uses appropriate form of hafen plus past participle):
i hafe gepläen I had played
dü hast gepläen you had played
hee hat gepläen he had played
she hat gepläen she had played
es hat gepläen it had played
dä hafen gepläen they had played
vir hafen gepläen we had played
man hat gepläen one had played
ir hat geplälen you had played
future ich werde spielen/I will play, am going to play
This is formed with the future auxiliary vil and the appropriate form of the main verb. Vil has no other use in Germish:
i vil pläe I will play
dü vil pläest you will play
hee vil pläet he will play
see vil pläet she will play
es vil pläet it will play
dä vil pläen they will play
vir vil pläen we will play
man vil pläet one will play
ir vil pläet you will play
perfect future ich werde gespielt haben/I will have played (same for all)
i vil gepläen I will have played
progressive past I was going (not rendered in German)
This tense in English is normally used in 2 ways. It can denote intention: I was going to call but I fell asleep. Or an action that was unfinished or interrupted by something else: I was reading a book when the phone rang.
Germish can equate these expressions in the following way:
Use the simple past of intenden-to intend to:
I intendede kaalen, but i feslifden. I was going (intended) to ring but I fell asleep.
Ongoing action that stopped:
Use the simple past of the verb with the preposition as. However, the subordinate clause goes first:
As i a Bük reedede, di Telefon ringdet. I was reading a book when the phone rang.
Conditional would/würde. In Germish, there are 2 conditional moods. The first is a non-sunjunctive mood. This is typically used if the other clause is a but, however or when clause, and is rendered with the Germish auxiliary vud and the appropriate form of the main verb:
Present ich würde spielen/I would play
I vud pläe, but hee asket nit mish I would play, but he doesn't ask me.
Perfect present conditional ich hätte gespielt/I would have played (this can also render the future conditional, this is qualified by statement information)
I vüd gepläen, but hee askedet nit mish I would have played, but he didn't ask me.
The Germish subjunctive expresses wishes, desires, and those things that, to most people, are just dreams or fantasies. This is formed by changing the vowel sound of the conditional vud to vüd, and is typically used with if clauses:
If i rich vaa, den i vüd ein Ferrari beien. If I were rich, I’d buy a Ferrari.
This tense uses could in the sense of being able to do something based on an if or a because clause, for example: "I could be better at maths if I study harder", or "We could be delayed because the train is late". It basically denotes a conditional possibillity. This is rendered with the subjunctive kan which is kün:
I kün daa in 40 minüten bäen, if i depaate now. I could be there in 40 minutes if I leave now.
The Germish imperitive uses the 3rd person singular in harsh or forceful commands. Otherwise, expressions such as directions or polite instructions are simply given as the appropriate pronoun and conjugation.
Sitet! Sit down!
Conjugations and irregular verbs
The verb bäen-to be like in many languages is the most irregular, but only in the present and simple past:
i am I am
dü bist you are
hee ist he is
see ist she is
es ist it is
dä ar they are
vir ar we are
man ist one is
ir säd you are
i vaa I was
dü vaast you were
hee vaa he was
see vaa she was
es vaa it was
dä vaan they were
vir vaan we were
man vaa one was
ir vaan you were
Perfective adds ge to vaan for all:
i gevaan I have been
dü gevaan you have been
Pluperfective had been sees a vowel change in the participle, same for all:
i geveen I had been
dü geveen you had been
i hafe I have
dü hast you have
hee hat he has
see hat she has
es hat it has
dä hafen they have
vir hafen we have
man hat one has
ir haft you have
Past. There is only one past tense for hafen which is gehafen, and denotes have had. Again, this is the same for all:
i gehafen I have had
dü gehafen you have had
Germish modal verbs act as auxiliaries and send the main verb to the end. There is only one form in the present tense, and some are irregular in the past. However, unlike regular German, the main verb does not take infinitive form (unless that form is already used with a pronoun/noun); the appropriate conjugate must be used. They are as follows:
kanen can/to be able to
süden should/to ought to
leiken to like/like
vanten to want/to want to
düfen may/to be allowed to
I kan Fütbaal pläe. I can play football.
Dü kan Fütbaal pläest. You can play football.
Vir kan Fütbaal pläen. We can play football.
When a modal has an infinitive meaning, the main verb has a special inflection and will follow the noun:
Kanen profeshünal Fütbaal pläenen, vüed a trü Trowm. To be able to play professional football would be a dream come true.
I kande Fütbaal pläe. I could (was able to/used to be able to) play football.
I gekanden Fütbaal pläen. I could have played football.
I süd Fütbaal gepläen. I should have played. Note: The modal takes no change, tense is denoted from the past participle of pläen.
I leikede Fütbaal pläen, ven i yung vaa. I liked to play football when I was young.
- To render have liked is geleiken, and had liked is hafe geleiken. However, these tenses are not used to facilitate main verbs. They’re used in a transitive sense with an object:
I geleiken dish fir lang zeit. I have liked you for a long time.
I hafe geleiken dish fir lang zeit. I had liked you for a long time.
- Note about kan. One must be careful when using kan in the past, as there are 2 forms denoting could. The example above is the correct past tense, meaning was able to. However, there is a subjunctive mood, kün, see the subjunctive above.
I vantede Fütbaal pläen. I wanted to play football.
I gevanten Fütbaal pläen. I have wanted to play football.
I düfde Fütbaal pläen. I was allowed to play football.
Negation of verbs is rendered with nish which directly relates to not. This typically goes after the verb, but for emphasis can follow the noun (with a little voice intonnation):
Hee güet nish. He’s not going.
Hee leiket nish Fütbaal. He doesn’t like football.
Hee leiket Fütbaal nish! He does NOT like football!
With modals and auxilliaris, the negation word appears with the main verb. This goes AFTER a noun, but where no noun is present, goes after the main verb:
I kan Fütbaal nish pläe. I can’t play football.
I vil güe nish. I will not go.
Negation of objects is rendered with kein, which equates to 'not a' or 'no':
Daa iz kein Stül. There is no chair.
Daa iz kein Chanz, dat tüdä i Fütbaal pläe kan. There is not a chance that I can play football today.
Most Germish nouns are German derived. However, there is no case or gender system, therefore all nouns are pretty regular. Plurals are rendered with en on consonant endings, and n on vowel endings. As stated in the word order section, Germish is analytic, therefore noun function relys solely on word order.
Germish possession equates to both the adjective: my, your, mein, dein etc, and also the German and English genetive: mine, his, of me, meiner, deiner, der Korb des Hunds etc. In an adjectival sense, this also renders the archaic style von mir often used in German, and goes as thus:
irei your (plural)
Hee iz mei Froind. He is my friend./He is a friend of mine
Däa Faata deiden. Their father died.
And in a genitive sense:
irein yours (plural)
di the a a/an
Spoken, di will often just be an utterance of d.
Below is a Germish example of Article 1 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, followed by its German and English equivalents:
Al Hümänen aar from Gebüt free and eküal in Vüde and Reshten. Dä aar gifted mit Vernunft and Gevisen and süd vorgen enanda in Geist of Brüderhat behäven.
All humans are free and equal in dignity and rights from birth. They are gifted with reason and conscience and should behave towards each other in a spirit of broherhood.
All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.
Alle Menschen sind frei und gleich an Würde und Rechten geboren. Sie sind mit Vernunft und Gewissen begabt und sollen einander im Geist der Brüderlichkeit begegnen.